How can you have empathy towards your addict without enabling? In some situations the two seem to intertwine.

When you find out someone close to you has an addiction, many of us have the initial reaction of: How could you do this?

But in reality we should be asking: Why would you do this?

Now I’m not excusing any behavior or decision. Every decision/action has an equal reaction. And one of the things taught in recovery is accepting responsibility and respecting where other people are in relation to your recovery. If that makes any sense. But there is almost always (not 100%) an underlying reason to addiction. There was something that triggered that initial substance abuse. That first hit, drink, or pill. From that point (the first time)  it’s Russian roulette so-to-speak. You never know when that substance has now become a chemical dependency. It’s different for every one.

Empathy

Empathy is looking to understand the “why” and pointing your loved one in the right direction. TALK! Let me say it again for the people in the back TALK! They may not even realize themselves why they are using. It’s human nature to want to feel “normal” and not hurt. Some people can work through trauma, depression, and a multitude of other things on their own and some don’t know how. And that’s ok! However, please take the time to understand. Don’t just shut down and shield yourself with anger and resentment. Take it from someone who knows, that self preservation method doesn’t work. Please point them in the direction of therapy. There is an unseen power in a counselor who knows how to peel back the layers and help you to dig deeper.

Enabling

Now let’s talk about enabling. Enabling is purposely making excuses and covering up for your loved one. DON’T DO IT! Do not give them the means to continue any dysfunctional or destructive behavior. The sooner they hit their lowest, the sooner they will be open to treatment. It is not your job to give them money for pills, drugs, alcohol, or whatever their DOC (drug of choice) is. Paying their light bill or buying groceries just prolongs the inevitable. Don’t make excuses for them. Love them, try to understand (have empathy) but your job is to steer them towards treatment. Not to support their habit. Let them fall on their ass, but love them through it.

Addicts Ripple

It is our mission here to help those struggling with addiction. Not passing judgment, not to condemn. But simply to be a stepping stone in the right direction. If you are struggling in any way (whether you are an addict or struggling with coping with an addict) please fill out our form and we will help you find resources in your area. It’s time to break the silence, uncover trauma, and deal with the issues at hand. We are no longer a generation being silenced.